The Catalyst and Influencer

I mentioned in an earlier post that you can’t change people, unless you apply coercion, which rarely works, and when it does, it does not last. Or, you can influence others within the context of trust, respect and love. Today’s post is about that second option – Influence.

John Maxwell’s definition of leadership is influence, nothing more, and nothing less. I agree that this is the essence of leadership, there are other elements involved. But without influence, you aren’t leading. He who thinks he is leading without anyone following is merely taking a walk. We all influence people at different times during our lives. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. Therefore, a corollary would say that we are all leaders as well.

I would recommend any of John Maxwell’s books for a simple no nonsense treatise on leadership and people skills. One of those books is Becoming a Person of Influence, co-written with Jim Dornan. Within they use an acronym to describe the qualities of an Influencer.

A Person of Influence, or Influencer…

Integrity
Nurtures
Faith in people
Listens
Understands
Enlarges
Navigates
Connects
Empowers
Reproduces

Needless to say, an influencer is a quality person. It is some who endears themselves to others. They have the ability to connect with both individuals, one to one, and the masses. They value trust, respect and love, and show it in their actions. One of the best definitions of love is sincerely and selflessly wanting the best for other people. An influencer, or leader, embodies this. With this kind of definition, which raises the bar considerably, it is apparent that a lot who claim the word leader as a title are merely taking a walk. They might indeed have throngs of people “following” them, but they are following for the handfuls of bread they’re being promised rather than being a part of something greater than themselves. A leader has their best interests at heart, not an agenda that elevates the leader.

A leader has catalytic properties. A catalyst is a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change. In human terms, it is a person who precipitates an event. (I also believe that catalytic individual also changes in the process of influencing others. They grow through the process as well.) For our purposes, a catalyst is someone who is a force of nature. Add them to the mix, and things happen. Things get done. And the folks involved are all the better for this person being in their lives. Make no mistake, leadership involves the pursuit of an objective, and mobilizing people to pursuing that objective. But a good leader doesn’t just utilize people as resources to meet that objective. The people and their well being in the pursuit of that objective is part of the objective. If the people have not grown in the process, then the objective will be of no consequence. It would be just a thing. Pursuing a goal will only lead to growth if the people involved in reaching that goal have grown, too.

Becoming a person of influence and catalyst takes some effort. People are not just born with this kind of dynamic. Leaders will tell you that wise choices, good mentors, deliberate deep practice, and shaping events have chiseled them into what they are. It’s more about the nurture than the nature. One might have a personality that precipitates this kind of development sooner, but make no mistake, where they are took much directed effort.

I leave you with a question: If you want to make a difference in the people’s lives around you, what kind of practices are you establishing so as to be a catalyst in those who are important to you?

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Why I Learned to Meditate

In an earlier post, I mentioned beginning a keystone habit – meditation. I would like to take some time to describe the practice a bit more the way I’ve experienced it, and its benefits.First of all, I want to clarify a few things. I am a Christian, a believer in Jesus Christ, and I am unapologetic about that. Some folks might voice some concern that I am being unfaithful to my devotion by practicing meditation. Although these folks are well intended, these claims are based on ignorance. What I practice on a regular basis does not invoke the name of any god or other religious devotion. Although some kinds of meditation have their origins in Buddhism and Hinduism, there are many meditational practices today that have no basis in these faiths. On that note, let me also say that I am in no way trying to discredit the meditating Buddhist or Hindu or any other devotee of another faith. Meditation has benefits for all who practice it, whether for religious or other purposes.

I have two intended purposes for my practice of meditation: Focus and Health.

When I meditate, I slow down. Way down. I don’t sit cross legged on the floor chanting a mantra. I sit in a chair. A very comfortable arm chair. I listen to a guided meditation by Andy Puddicombe called Get Some Headspace. I keep my eyes open for a few moments and softly keep my gaze ahead of me, being aware of my complete peripheral vision. I begin breathing deep breaths through my nose, and exhale through my mouth, for about 60 seconds. Then I close my eyes, becoming aware of the contact of the chair beneath me and my feet on the floor and my arms on my lap or on the armrests. I become aware of any sounds around me, any smells, and even any remaining tastes in my mouth. Then I begin to notice any physical feelings I might have, whether there is any discomfort in my body. Then I take mental note of my emotional state. Am I stressed, anxious, or sad? Then I take note of my motivations for doing this, especially today’s motivation. Why am I doing this, TODAY? Then I take note of who round me might benefit from my meditation. If I become less stressed because of my meditating, who around me benefits? Then I am reminded that this whole exercise is not one of intense effort, but gentle effortlessness.

At this point, I begin to count my breathing. Inhale, one, exhale, two…inhale, three, exhale four…and so on, until I get to ten, and then I start over at one. I focus on my breathing and my counting. I notice my chest expanding, I feel the rhythm. My mind begins to wander, thinking about some distraction. That’s okay. I gently draw my attention back to my breathing. A few moments later, my mind drifts again. I notice and gently reel my focus back to my breathing. Again and again this happens, but that’s okay. During this distraction/refocus sequence, I am actually strengthening my willpower “muscle”, (the subject of last weeks post). Being distracted and having a wandering mind have some creative benefits, but bringing the mind back to a focus, in this case, my breathing, strengthens my command center. Daniel Goleman, writer of Focus, The Hidden Driver of Excellence , wrote,

“Build up the mind’s muscle for focus through a daily session of meditating on your breath. This is the mental equivalent of working out in the gym. The battle tension between focus and distraction takes place in the brain’s circuits for resisting impulse. In the mental gym, the more often you catch your mind wandering off and return it to concentrating on your breath, the stronger your concentration grows – like bulking up your pecs on a Cybex.”

As I break this evening from writing this post, I open up the book I just began reading, Mastermind: How to Think Like Sherlock Holmes, by Maria Konnikova. Within minutes, I read this passage –

“The idea of [meditation]/mindfulness itself is by no means a new one. As early as the end of the nineteenth century, William James, the father of modern psychology, wrote that ‘the faculty of voluntarily bringing back a wandering attention, over and over again, is the very root of judgement, character and will….An education which should improve this faculty would be the education par excellence.’ That faculty, at its core, is the very essence of [meditation]/mindfulness.”

After about 12-17 minutes of focused breathing, I then allow my mind to wander for about 60-90 seconds, without any focus at all. Strangely enough, giving myself the freedom to wander usually gives me the the highest moments of clarity and focus of the session. After this small interlude, I begin to focus once again on my physical surroundings, the touch of my body against the chair and floor, the sounds, the smells and lingering tastes. Then I open my eyes, gently, and it is as if I am on another planet. The state of focus is indescribable. I can usually stay in this mode for about five or ten minutes, and I usually use this time to try to plan my day (if in the morning), or the next day (if in the evening). I might write for a few moments. But I try to take advantage of, well, that natural high that comes after “awakening” from the meditative state.

When I began the practice of meditation, many other tasks became “easier” for me. I became more “self-disciplined” in other areas of my life. Actually, what I believe was happening was that I was learning how to focus and exert my will in areas in ways that I had never been able to before. Exercise, cleaning, diet, study, saving money…all the areas were affected. A little focus went a long way.

My blood pressure has always been a little high, but after practicing meditation for about a month, for the first time ever, my blood pressure lowered into the “great” zone. Added to my regular exercise and improved diet, my heath and fitness was at an all time high.

Meditation (or rather, mindfulness, as it is commonly referred to today) is not a bunch of new age mumbo jumbo, (although in some circles, it has been hijacked into such.) It is a skill that has practical outcomes. Even small amounts of restful sitting without activity and a stillness of mind has shown to reap quick results.

I leave you with my usual question of application…Can you find a way to carve 2-5 minutes to sit quietly with nothing but your thoughts focused on your breathing? Try it for one week, consistently. See if you don’t benefit immediately.